The wonderful world of Grace’s thoughts

i’ve been eating so much these few days its insane.
lyk seriously.
i think its part stress and part ‘its end of term,anything goes’.

i mean, i would have never after a meal at teri-aki insisted that i wanted ice-cream and dragged jings, nicks, and jordan to la magherita to eat gelati!

it was so yummy tho. i had rum &raisin, hazelnut and tiramisu.

come to cambridge and i’ll take u there.

super, super yummy.

oh, no that’s not the worst yet.

today, i woke up (awfully late, and started having minor panic attacks as i was supposed to wake up super early to continue my project, more of which i will speak abt later) and had this craving for indomee and fried egg. So, thank goodness i had one last packet of indomee and one last fried egg!

such a healthy breakfast i must say.

decided that it was too much to eat lunch agn, altho a few of the msians were meeting up at robinson college for brunch. So i didn’t go.

fast forward 3.00pm and i was starving, as tho i hadn’t eaten for days. had this weird craving for fries and kebabs.

so dragged jings to first choice to get fries, kebab.

which i obviously couldn’t finish, so took it back home for ‘dinner’. and then we wanted to go pizza hut to eat the cookie dough thing, but pizza hut was so damn full.
ended up in sains, where i saw coke, and suddenly felt as tho my life would never be the same if i didn’t drink coke.

ended up with two bottles of coke zero (of which i have almost finished, thanks to my project) and a packet of chocolate coated cornflakes.

jing bought pork ribs from sains, and altho i wasn’t particularly hungry, managed to help her finish that off as well as the remains of my kebab and fries.

and then, i suddenly felt the need for chocolate, but refrained from eating the bar i bought to give a friend. so i drank a cup of milo instead.

and since then, i’ve been pumping my body with aspartame, phenylalanine, phosphoric acid, carbonated water and colouring.

its making me very happy though, and enables me to concentrate on my project.
so for now, screw thoughts of cancer, i’m drinking as much coke (zero) as i want!

i think my binging is completely due to the fact that i have a project that i have to hand in on monday, and i am only half way there.

ughhh.

double ugggghhhh.

so sien-ing.

its end of term, everyone is off having fun/going back home and here i am stuck by my computer, surrounded by piles and piles of random notes and coffee/milo stained mugs. and my stupid uncomfortable chair is giving me a backache.

and they say land economy is a lazy ppl course.

pfft.

i wish.

goingcrazygoingcrazygoingceeerrrraaaazzzeeeeee.

my head is not in the project at all, and this is just terrible.

i’ve no focus, no drive to finish it at all.

AT ALL!

and this is not me.

which is just terrible.

cambridge is killing me slowly but surely.

i’m literally a little mad, and my moods are worse than one who is pms-ing.

lyk one moment i’m super high, next moment i snap at anyone who dares talk to me.

or i could just suddenly burst into tears, and feel lyk life is just not supposed to be lyk this.

and then go completely depressed.

but i think that this may be a growing point for me in my spiritual/physical/mental life.

was reading the bible, and there was this bit that really spoke to me. psalm 4. it just showed me that God will sustain me through this times and that i should be filled with joy in Him, and not be so depressed all the time.

"You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace for you alone, O Lord make me dwell in safety"
[ Psalm 4 : 7 - 8 ]

that made me feel a wee bit better. I really need the strength to pull through.

I suppose its not just the work that’s making me lyk this, there are many other factors which i shall not go into.

i should really get back to my project.

1600 words down, 1400 to go.

woo.

oosh.
coffee is bad.
i should really stop drinking.
gah.
this is all jing’s fault
*sulks*
i want chicken wings and smoked salmon!
i want i want i want!

this post makes no sense, but it is what you should expect after two cups of coffee and 10 statistics questions.
i would consider this as being normal.

anyways, elections back home!
exciting!
bandar kch by dap!
and all the hot spots won by opposition!
hopefully this comes as a huge wake up call to the current government.
they need it.

yea.. the end of term is nigh.
can’t wait.
only 3 more supervisions, 4 more days of lectures and a project that counts for 30% of tripos (no stress, seriously!) to go before lent comes to an end!

basically this term has been really crappy for me, and has been for the many ppl that i’ve spoken to.
its just lyk you feel as though you’ve learnt nth, done nth productive, and all supervision work seems to be crap and rushed/last minute work!
eiks.

ah well.
there’s so many things going on, and time really seems to fly.
i mean, it seems lyk i haven’t really learnt anything, and now its time to sit for tripos already!
ok, not yet, but in two months or so.
it feels lyk just yesterday that i arrived at heathrow and meet up with my sisters, bought all the random stuff i needed for my room.
and now, its the end of my 2nd term in Cambridge already.
ahh!

i’m some what glad and yet depressed that its the end of term already.
glad that i’ve no more lectures/supervisions to attend during the easter break, but depressed cos it means i’m just that much closer to exams.
ish.
i shall use my easter break with utmost productivity to consolidate all my work not done during the term, and study lyk mad.
i seriously have to,la. or i’m so screwed.

but besides, all that depressing-ness. i have had a lot of fun during lent (ok, mayb too much)
can’t write abt everything, got to get started on my law sup asap. so here are the highlights!
- malaysian night (and all the exhausting practices)
- cny eve cook out (despite the weirdness of the food, it was fun!)
- london trip!
- international formal
- pancake day
- ‘middle of the night’ roast duck eating
- pre-term shopping (altho lugging back the shoe rack from argos was probably not the wisest thing to do)
- jing being in my room 24/7

and more random stuff that i simply can’t remember.
and i’m too lazy to post up pictures.
=)

i think as of late i have been getting to much sleep.
which is bad.
i should be working more.

ok, that was random.

i suppose you are wondering when will i ever post smth intellectual/mentally challenging on my blog rite?
keep waiting then.
i rather love going on and on abt myself.
hah.
=)

btw, eileen!
i found your letter.
i shall post it over soon.
and ur silly joke was nt funny.
it made me so sad.
lol.
and i promise to stop going on and on abt myself the next time we skype.

and beatrix hii, if you ever read this..
GO GET FACEBOOK SO I CAN STALK YOU.
=)

and the rest of you,
happy easter!
i’m going to miss amphitheatre-ing this year/waking up at the crack of dawn to attend easter service.
so sad.