heya, i’ve decided to start a new blog.
friendster’s blog is just a tad unuser friendly.
anyhoos, new blog’s link is http://graceisaschmoo.wordpress.com/
latest pics from my easter vac in barcelona are up!
so go check it out =)
i’ve been eating so much these few days its insane.
lyk seriously.
i think its part stress and part ‘its end of term,anything goes’.
i mean, i would have never after a meal at teri-aki insisted that i wanted ice-cream and dragged jings, nicks, and jordan to la magherita to eat gelati!
it was so yummy tho. i had rum &raisin, hazelnut and tiramisu.
come to cambridge and i’ll take u there.
super, super yummy.
oh, no that’s not the worst yet.
today, i woke up (awfully late, and started having minor panic attacks as i was supposed to wake up super early to continue my project, more of which i will speak abt later) and had this craving for indomee and fried egg. So, thank goodness i had one last packet of indomee and one last fried egg!
such a healthy breakfast i must say.
decided that it was too much to eat lunch agn, altho a few of the msians were meeting up at robinson college for brunch. So i didn’t go.
fast forward 3.00pm and i was starving, as tho i hadn’t eaten for days. had this weird craving for fries and kebabs.
so dragged jings to first choice to get fries, kebab.
which i obviously couldn’t finish, so took it back home for ‘dinner’. and then we wanted to go pizza hut to eat the cookie dough thing, but pizza hut was so damn full.
ended up in sains, where i saw coke, and suddenly felt as tho my life would never be the same if i didn’t drink coke.
ended up with two bottles of coke zero (of which i have almost finished, thanks to my project) and a packet of chocolate coated cornflakes.
jing bought pork ribs from sains, and altho i wasn’t particularly hungry, managed to help her finish that off as well as the remains of my kebab and fries.
and then, i suddenly felt the need for chocolate, but refrained from eating the bar i bought to give a friend. so i drank a cup of milo instead.
and since then, i’ve been pumping my body with aspartame, phenylalanine, phosphoric acid, carbonated water and colouring.
its making me very happy though, and enables me to concentrate on my project.
so for now, screw thoughts of cancer, i’m drinking as much coke (zero) as i want!
i think my binging is completely due to the fact that i have a project that i have to hand in on monday, and i am only half way there.
ughhh.
double ugggghhhh.
so sien-ing.
its end of term, everyone is off having fun/going back home and here i am stuck by my computer, surrounded by piles and piles of random notes and coffee/milo stained mugs. and my stupid uncomfortable chair is giving me a backache.
and they say land economy is a lazy ppl course.
pfft.
i wish.
goingcrazygoingcrazygoingceeerrrraaaazzzeeeeee.
my head is not in the project at all, and this is just terrible.
i’ve no focus, no drive to finish it at all.
AT ALL!
and this is not me.
which is just terrible.
cambridge is killing me slowly but surely.
i’m literally a little mad, and my moods are worse than one who is pms-ing.
lyk one moment i’m super high, next moment i snap at anyone who dares talk to me.
or i could just suddenly burst into tears, and feel lyk life is just not supposed to be lyk this.
and then go completely depressed.
but i think that this may be a growing point for me in my spiritual/physical/mental life.
was reading the bible, and there was this bit that really spoke to me. psalm 4. it just showed me that God will sustain me through this times and that i should be filled with joy in Him, and not be so depressed all the time.
"You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace for you alone, O Lord make me dwell in safety"
[ Psalm 4 : 7 - 8 ]
that made me feel a wee bit better. I really need the strength to pull through.
I suppose its not just the work that’s making me lyk this, there are many other factors which i shall not go into.
i should really get back to my project.
1600 words down, 1400 to go.
woo.
oosh.
coffee is bad.
i should really stop drinking.
gah.
this is all jing’s fault
*sulks*
i want chicken wings and smoked salmon!
i want i want i want!
this post makes no sense, but it is what you should expect after two cups of coffee and 10 statistics questions.
i would consider this as being normal.
anyways, elections back home!
exciting!
bandar kch by dap!
and all the hot spots won by opposition!
hopefully this comes as a huge wake up call to the current government.
they need it.
yea.. the end of term is nigh.
can’t wait.
only 3 more supervisions, 4 more days of lectures and a project that counts for 30% of tripos (no stress, seriously!) to go before lent comes to an end!
basically this term has been really crappy for me, and has been for the many ppl that i’ve spoken to.
its just lyk you feel as though you’ve learnt nth, done nth productive, and all supervision work seems to be crap and rushed/last minute work!
eiks.
ah well.
there’s so many things going on, and time really seems to fly.
i mean, it seems lyk i haven’t really learnt anything, and now its time to sit for tripos already!
ok, not yet, but in two months or so.
it feels lyk just yesterday that i arrived at heathrow and meet up with my sisters, bought all the random stuff i needed for my room.
and now, its the end of my 2nd term in Cambridge already.
ahh!
i’m some what glad and yet depressed that its the end of term already.
glad that i’ve no more lectures/supervisions to attend during the easter break, but depressed cos it means i’m just that much closer to exams.
ish.
i shall use my easter break with utmost productivity to consolidate all my work not done during the term, and study lyk mad.
i seriously have to,la. or i’m so screwed.
but besides, all that depressing-ness. i have had a lot of fun during lent (ok, mayb too much)
can’t write abt everything, got to get started on my law sup asap. so here are the highlights!
- malaysian night (and all the exhausting practices)
- cny eve cook out (despite the weirdness of the food, it was fun!)
- london trip!
- international formal
- pancake day
- ‘middle of the night’ roast duck eating
- pre-term shopping (altho lugging back the shoe rack from argos was probably not the wisest thing to do)
- jing being in my room 24/7
and more random stuff that i simply can’t remember.
and i’m too lazy to post up pictures.
=)
i think as of late i have been getting to much sleep.
which is bad.
i should be working more.
ok, that was random.
i suppose you are wondering when will i ever post smth intellectual/mentally challenging on my blog rite?
keep waiting then.
i rather love going on and on abt myself.
hah.
=)
btw, eileen!
i found your letter.
i shall post it over soon.
and ur silly joke was nt funny.
it made me so sad.
lol.
and i promise to stop going on and on abt myself the next time we skype.
and beatrix hii, if you ever read this..
GO GET FACEBOOK SO I CAN STALK YOU.
=)
and the rest of you,
happy easter!
i’m going to miss amphitheatre-ing this year/waking up at the crack of dawn to attend easter service.
so sad.
hello, hello.
yes, i am still alive, not dead yet, contrary to what many of you might think, since i haven’t been updating since goodness knows when.
wells.
so, here i am updating after an exhaustive 1/2 a term.
yes, it is already week 4 here in cambridge, half a term is gone, and i feel lyk i know nth.
not to mention that i have been unusually tired/depressed/distracted over the last few weeks.
and i have no idea why.
it can’t really be work stress, cos i haven’t been getting much work done, which is just bad, and i am feeling so incredibly guilty abt it.
but, i don’t know.
everyone tells me my life in cambridge is so good and all.
and yet, why do i feel so sick of life?
lyk some times i feel that my drive to so stuff and excel has just been taken away.
or temporarily misplaced.
listless, would be a good word to describe me at this very moment.
so much so, that i didn’t evn know it was cny, and didn’t feel at lost that i wasn’t at home to celebrate.
or the fact that i completely forgot abt the room draws, and forming groups.
and, i have been acting rather out of the norm lately.
ppl have been coming up to me saying, grace why do you look so grouchy/grace you look distracted/grace, are you depressed?
it really says smth, cos i’ve always been known to not show my true feelings on my face.
or at least my facial expressions.
pfft.
why,la grace.
anyways, on a happier note, its starting to get warmer, and flowers are starting to grow!
yay!
and also, i’m getting better at riding my bike.
at least a lot faster.
haha.
and i have learnt a lot of ’shortcuts’ arnd cambridge.
wee.
ooo, and gt my contract phone.
FINALLY.
shall not go into the details of how stupid my bank was being with me.
anyways, i gt the lg viewty!
its so fun, what with the touch screen and all.
but i wish it was an iphone =(
but kena tunggu, and i very malas wanna tunggu.
and also a lot more mahal, getting the iphone.
k,la better go sleep.
gt classes tmr.
two hrs of statistics.
oh joy.
yes, i know.
what an uncreative title rite?
sorry,la. its the best i can come up with at this moment =)
anyways, haven’t been blogging for a long time, was at one moment super caught up in work, and then when term ended, i was super having fun (xD) and then when i got back i was just plain lazy. but that’s going to change now.
have been back for 3 weeks or so. kch is great. cheap food, nice sunny weather, too hot at times, but the rain helps. kl and singapore is a lot hotter (no i am not imagining this. it IS true. i think its the pollution. haha) tho. shopping in kl was good =) too many malls, too little time. but i still love kch. its HOME!
oh, and i think i’m supposed to talk abt life in cambridge. ooh. ok.
cambridge was pretty good!
no, it wasn’t nerdy, and yes i do get to have fun.
work hard, play hard and that’s why we are all so sleepy all the time.
haha.
that was a quote from a fellow camb-er.
=)
we do get lots of work, altho at the time when u are doing it u don’t realise its alot cos everyone arnd u has the same (or more!) amt of work. then, u are let loose into the real world, and discover the truth! most london uni’s average 2 essays a term. we have 2 a week. or in the case of the science students, 4 a week (at times)
and supervisions (stuff lyk tutorials, where u are given work, and u hand up before so during the sup u can discuss) are rather stressful. esp my law sup. my supervisor, who is also my lecturer is damn scary. we (me and my other supervision mates) normally ‘fight’ over who sits in front of him, the ‘hot seat’, cos he seems to target the person in front of him the most. haha.
other than education in cambs, we do fun stuff too! one a week, we (a group of msian 1st years) normally meet up to makan, hang out and speak manglish. lol. its great hanging out with malaysians, very easy to mix with. the msian 1st years/freshers are a very interesting group of people, whom i think all have retardacy in common. probly a requirement of entry. lol. but its quite strange in the sense that i’ve only known them for such a short while, and yet i feel lyk as if i’ve known them forever! especially jing ting. (this is probly cos this girl comes to my room everyday. haha) this girl,ar. super the random. which makes things fun i guess.
yeah, in short things have been good.
too much to mention all in a post.
will write more when my internet line is not being so pms-ey.
=)
democracy.
malaysia.
democracy.
malaysia.
this is what i call an oxymoron.
msia? democratic?
well, if democracy means majority rules and let’s-pretend-the-minority-doesn’t-exist, then SURE. malaysia is super the democratic.
or better yet.. majority rules, and if the minority doesn’t agree with the majority, wave parangs (better still, keris-es) at them, and threaten to kill them.
WAIT.
i know other defination of democracy which fits malaysia..
only those in favour of the present ruling government are represented. the rest of you, just shut up.
seriously.
i just so happen to be studying abt the electoral system/democracy in the uk, while back home there’s smth abt the elections and also the whole protest thing that was just hilarious.
i can’t remember the name of the minister who was interview by al-jazeera, and also don’t remember much of what he said.. but suffice to say, it made my day.
i wonder if he has ever heard of the this thing we lyk to call DIPLOMACY.
and also this language that we speak.
ENGLISH.
goodness.
pretending not to be able to hear the interviewer when you don’t want to answer a question is smth ppl in their pre-teens do.
o_O
and then of course, to put the icing on the cake, he had to end the interview accusing the network of being bias towards the opposition.
very diplomatic.
i’m amazed that you aren’t lyk the prime minister.
and the Uk think they’ve got problems, what with the first past the post thing, and not proportional representation.
oh, and another brilliant thing abt malaysia’s democratic-ness.
2 orang ulu in the middle of the jungle in sarawak make a constituency.
5,000 people (let’s not bring up the whole race thing) in central kuching in sarawak, ALSO represents a constituency.
brillant, aren’t we?
it’s not that i want to hate the government.
they are just making it way too hard to love them.
and i’m not doing anything wrong ‘bad-mouthing’/speaking the truth.
freedom of speech, human rights!
*this is the side effect of too much consti law-ing over the last few days*
and now, for more abt me.
i am busyfied.
i have 5 supervisions next week, meaning 5 pieces of work to complete.
but then after than hurdle, its h.o.l.i.d.a.y.s.
yay.
…of a map.
i got lost.
in cambridge *not funny, don’t laugh*
well, wanlin and i got lost.
basically, we turned the wrong direction and instead of heading to new hall, we were heading away from it.
how smart.
took us 45mins or more to cycle from church back to newhall, which if we had not gotten lost, should only take us 20mins. max.
and the wind was so awful that you have to cycle super hard to move.
so now, i am blardy exhausted.
but i cannot go sleep because i just had 12 hrs of sleep last nite, thus now i have to do work.
gt an accounting supervision tmr, and i have to prepare for it.
gaah.
and again i managed to waste my weekend by doing goodness knows what.
hmmmph.
so now for some work.
and tomorrow i shall go enjoy by heading to the new shopping mall in cambridge!
already spotted a HUGE h&M.
yay.
and heard abt the 50% and everything.
i HAVE to go shopping tmr.
Grand Arcade here i come!
the dreaded 5th week has arrived, and grace is very much so feeling the 5th week blues.
she is extremely sien & rather depressed for no apparent reason.
all she wants to do is sleep.
either that or watch oc over and over again.
grace thinks she is going mad.
after all, life in cambs i pretty good, rite?
so why is grace feeling so down?
this is a very complicated matter.
oh, and grace is also very sad, because her pimples refuse to budge.
boo hoo.
grace wants holidays.
grace loves being a bum.
unfortunately, during the christmas hols, grace has a project to do.
yes, a project.
one that involves the 6yrs worth of financial reports she has to read.
grace doesn’t lyk projects.
nor does she lyk financial reports.
except grace lyk the covers of the financial reports, which are colourful & cute.
grace thinks her dos thinks she is probly an idiot, seeing as how i made ’so many’ generalisations when i wrote my essay, but was being nice by telling me it was a potentially good essay.
key word here being potentially =\
grace also thinks she is way too shallow, compared to the many ppl here in cambridge.
this is after realizing that all she watches are chick flicks and teen soaps.
and also, she doesn’t read intellectual books, and her general knowledge is close to none.
this is proven as she forgot who lim goh tong was.
well to this, grace thinks she will nvr change cos she enjoys being who she is.
see what grace means by 5th week blues?’
lyk all the random depressing thoughts appear in your mind, and you start thinking you are going mad.
grace thinks this is enough depression for one day.
on a happy note, grace is happy because, she finally finished her project.
unfortunately it is kinda late and time for bed.
thus leaving grace no time to do anymore nonsense.
grace is also super annoyed at friendster for not letting her post up pics!
stupidity.
remember the time i was showing off that i was so free?
screw that.
*must be some sort of pay back for me rubbing it in to others =(*
gah!
super stress-ing these past few days.
so much so i’m developing so many pimples on my face, very soon its going to look/feel lyk the surface of the moon. what with the craters and bumps and all.
sigh.
go away pimples!
its lyk a deadly cycle.
i stress, thus pimples develop, then i stress MORE because of said developing pimples, thus even MORE pimples develop.
boohoo.
ok,ok vain moment right there.
but seriously.
mega stress.
uber stress.
titanic stress!
and partially worried.
altho i know i shudn’t worry and put everything in God’s hands (learnt that in bible study yesterday, some verse in matthew, i think) but i can’t help it!
spent the last week preparing for my law supervision, constitutional law which made me particularly grumpy and annoyed at everything.
goodness.
i LOVE law,man *feeds self chocolates*
(this is what i lyk to call postive reinforcements, i’m going to make myself believe i love law and mayb i realy will!)
=)
it was insane.
my supervision was a bit nerve-wrecking.
lyk he was asking me would uk be better off with a written or unwritten constitution and for the life of me all i could say was unwritten, because it covers a wider range of things.
gosh, could i have been any less vaque?
but at least i recovered upon some prompting and come up with smth more inttelectual.
that it wouldn’t give the judges so much power to interpret the law, as they weren’t evn elected by the public, hence defeating the purpose of a democratic nation.
to which he then said "giving it to politicians isn’t any better"
ok, enough abt my stupidity, and complete lack of ability to argue.
law is jst so..
well.
dry.
and so many things to read.
law books are insanely thick.
i swear, my consti book is enough to knock someone out cold.
and i need to go read the papers so i know what is going on in the uk,
right now i’m suffering this disease ppl in cambridge lyk to call the cbs.
the cambridge bubble syndrom, where you are pretty much stuck in this bubble and everything you do or know revolves arnd cambridge academic stuff.
there could be lyk a plague in msia for all i know, and i wouldn’t evn know abt it!
24 hrs a day is so not enough.
grr.
and now i am writing an essay where i have no idea what i am talking abt!
yay me!
1000 words.
291 down, 709 to go.
my supervisor is going to think i am an idiot.
oh well.
as someone put it oh-so-eloquently, if you know everything, that defeats the purpose of supervisions doesn’t it?
=)
that shall be my motto in supervision-ing.
oh, and forgive me for the lack of pictures and the utter dullness in my blog, friendster is being stupid and nt letting me upload pics.
i might, if i’m rajin enough, transfer to blogspot over the winter break.
IF.
oh, and going to london nxt weekend!
yay!
hopefully.
i need a break.
and to get back into the ‘real world’
